Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Pregnancy anxiety

So how's this for a ridiculous pregnancy symptom, I have had the most intense anxiety that I can only attribute to pregnancy. I guess I get anxious sometimes about meeting new people or whether or not I look okay to go out in public but lately it's been a little more crazy than that.

Like when I was getting ready to go to Georgia. About a week before my flight I started stressing about everything you could imagine. I was hoping that I'd get an empty seat so I could bring Evelyn's carseat on because I knew otherwise I wouldn't get any sleep. So that was stress number one. I worried about it day in and day out even though there was NOTHING I could do about it.

I worried that I would forget something at home that I'd need, so I started making a packing list down to the specific shirts and pants and jewelry and make-up items. I worried that Evelyn would get sick. I worried that I wouldn't be able to get through security on my own. I worried that I'd have to get up and pee too often on the plane and have to take Evelyn with me in that teeny tiny bathroom. I worried about everything.

I was so anxious that I couldn't sleep at night or even nap during the day.

Well that all turned out fine but only a few days later, while in Georgia, a friend invited me to a concert. I obviously said yes because I love concerts and hadn't been to one in forever. But then the anxiety started.What if Evelyn freaked out when I left and wouldn't let my parents put her to bed and cried the whole time I was gone?
She got her own seat and fell asleep!

Well that's an easy fix. I'd just go late to the concert after I put her to bed. But the concert was in Atlanta so then I stressed about driving there. Then I stressed about walking from the parking lot to the venue alone, then about what I'd do with my coat, whether I'd have to shell out for the $4 mini water bottle, how many times I'd have to use the nasty bathroom, what if I got too hot and ruined the concert for my friend.... It was ridic.

Once again it kept me from sleeping and I eventually told her I couldn't go. It was only after this incident that I realized something was off. It was just a concert. No big deal. Why was I freaking out so much.

I freaked similarly before my flight back to Utah. I've also felt certain that I was breathing my last breaths several times when riding in the car with other people.

The only thing I can figure is that perhaps my pregnant state is making me feel more vulnerable than usual. That, and I probably have this motherly survival instinct that is making me take extra precautions before doing anything. It's a pregnancy symptom that I do not appreciate.

Has anyone else had this ridiculous pregnancy anxiety??

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